2010 Audi R8 5.2 FSI

The Audi R8 5.2 FSI is easily among the dozen fastest street-legals on planet Earth.
The car is the 2010 Audi R8 5.2 FSI -- a billion-candlepower version of the R8 sports coupe with a Lamborghini V-10 engine wedged amidships. To drive one is to mind-meld with an off-world creature of magnificent grace and dramatic pace, a being that can by turns be tender and sophisticated or -- once you kick the loud pedal -- an unholy freakin' animal. The primal aurality of this car at 8,000 rpm will actually cause your DNA to devolve. Ugh. Mook-ah.

The Audi isn't simply quick (zero to 60 in 3.7 seconds) or fast (a quarter-mile in less than 12 seconds), though it easily qualifies as among the dozen fastest street-legals on planet Earth. It isn't only that it will cause your organs to slosh to one side of your rib cage like an untrussed load of pork bellies. It's that the whole package -- the death-grip Pirellis, the mid-engine layout, the all-wheel drive, the carbon-ceramic brakes, the milfoil layering of electronic safety systems, the preternatural balance of the thing -- so thoroughly augments and flatters the abilities of the humanoid behind the wheel. The man-machine interface is so supple, so syncretic, the bit stream from the four wheels through the seat and steering so vivid and real-time that at times I could taste the carbon fiber.

I got out of the Audi feeling 10 feet tall and ready to tame the nearest Toruk.